Life With Baby - Sleep Pt. 2

About three months ago, I was sure that I had solved "sleep" in our house. Henry was waking up at two predictable intervals in the night, James's and my bodies had adapted to this routine, and we were much less tired than in months 3-6. Henry was taking a decent morning nap, and we were making progress with afternoon naps. Everything was solved. Henry had just needed his reflux addressed and to be allowed to cry for a bit before soothing himself to sleep. We bought blackout shades, and then blackout curtains to block the slivers of light the shades let through, and a draft stopper to put under his nursery door to keep the light from the hallway from waking him up. We learned that he sleeps best on his stomach, and decided to stop trying to make him sleep on his back. We even made it through the bottom two teeth breaking through with relatively little regression, and felt like pros.

Then he started sitting up on his own. And he cried. Like, a lot. We rocked and fed and soothed and were sleep deprived again while he learned to lay back down after sitting up, and eventually he started sleeping better again. His gaps between night wakings were widening, and we could see the sun on the horizon. Our son was learning how to sleep, and we were the ones teaching him.

Then his top teeth came in. Four teeth all at once. A little bit of Tylenol before bed wasn't cutting it anymore as his teeth were cutting through, so we rocked and fed and soothed and were sleep deprived again while his teeth came in. Eventually he wasn't in so much pain at night and started sleeping better than before. James and I were getting six or seven hour stretches for our own tired bodies and souls, and life was getting better.

Then he started standing up on his own. We would look at the monitor at 1/2/3AM and see a baby standing in his crib and facing the door crying. More than once I checked the baby monitor after he stopped crying for a few minutes only to see him slumped over the side of his crib, still standing, but asleep. We rocked and fed and soothed and were sleep deprived for a few weeks while he learned to sit back down, then lay back down, and fall asleep. He was only waking up once between 4 and 5AM at the beginning of January for a change and feed.

Then we went on a trip. He wasn't in his own room anymore, and the pack-and-play wasn't as comfortable as his mattress, and mom and dad were snoring just a few feet away, and the room wasn't dark enough for naps during the day, and there were too many new sights and smells to fall asleep in a stroller either. We rocked and fed and soothed and he just wouldn't sleep. We cut the trip short. We spent 10,000 rewards points to get home three days earlier than planned so that we could get Henry back to his routine. 

Some babies will sleep anywhere at any time, but Henry is not one of those. He needs routine and darkness and sound machines and either mom or dad there to help ease him in to dreamland. No one sleep-training regimen will cut it with him, it's a combination of crying and soothing and breastfeeding and laying him back down and a whole lot of luck. Most babies would be sleeping 10-12 hours straight by now, but not Henry. Henry sleeps for six hours, we change his diaper and feed and rock and soothe him, then it's another four or five before he's up for the day. We're tired, but it's bearable. Next he'll be teaching himself how to walk, then the next big change will probably be weaning and I don't know what we'll do then because we breastfeed to sleep and oh god that one will be rough. He'll get sick at some point or we'll go on a weekend trip to Austin or he won't have eaten enough supper and will wake up in the middle of the night hungry. This is our life, for now. Sleep gets better, and it gets worse. 

Small Projects

Our home renovation slowed down even more when we brought Henry home. Thankfully we finished the vast majority of our reno before March 31, Henry’s birthday, so all that we have left are a million little projects. We still need to landscape both the front yard and back yard, put art on walls, choose colors and paint a room or two; little things that all add up to an overwhelming amount of work. 

Every few weeks, James and I get a burst of energy that we can aim toward crossing something off of our list. A small project feels small again, and we remember that we have time to do a part of the project even if we don't have time for the full scope. Finishing one small part of an already small project gets us one day closer to our goal.

We had not yet opened up our side porch because we needed to clean it out and patch up the ceiling before exposing it to the elements. About a month ago, we spent a day clearing our porch of the things that we let pile up in the last year. We donated some furniture, and found places in the shed or house for anything that we decided to keep. The next weekend, James made measurements and began cutting beadboard to patch an odd hole in our ceiling (the previous owner cut the ceiling to pieces to fit a fan with a long rod, rather than buy a flush mount fan.) It took us a few days, but with teamwork and patience we were able to patch it all up. We could then knock out the walls in time for heavy trash to take everything away.

We have a really cool loft space in our master bedroom, but had no way to get up there. We spent a few hours one day getting rungs for a wall-mounted ladder welded, a few more hours another week getting the rungs powder coated and then James spent an afternoon measuring and marking the wall and drilling 64 little holes where we would need to ratchet the newly welded and powder-coated rungs with lag screws to the wall. I spent a few hours the next day while he was at work installing some of the rungs, and a some hours the another day installing a few more. By breaking up our projects into manageable pieces we have been able to make bits of progress in our almost-finished house. 

Neither of these two projects is done yet. We still need to sand-blast the old paint off of the brick on the porch and peel up the laminate flooring that is in a corner out there. In our loft we still need to organize what we have thrown up there for storage and turn it into a living space. Still, these projects have been started. Neither of them seems so daunting any more, and we have moved both of these projects from our “to-do” list on to our “in-progress” list.

Life With Baby - Sleep

I walk up to complete strangers at the grocery store because their babies look just older than Henry, so they probably have lots of advice and can answer all of my questions. I have numbers in my phone of women I have either never met, or have met just once, and I have texted them for hours asking them to share their experiences. I try not to be too annoying, but some days I can't help myself.

I was not blessed with a good sleeper. He never had his days and nights confused, so it took me a while to realize that he wasn't a good sleeper, but I have spent the last couple of months realizing the extent of his sleep problems. All of my questions to friends and strangers with babies are sleep-related. Any time I describe my baby sleep situation to older adult friends, my parents, or my grandparents, the response is, "well my baby never did that," so it's hard to ask for and receive advice knowing that every baby is so different.

When Henry was two months old I asked other moms on Facebook how to get my baby to nap on his own. The response was an overwhelming "enjoy the snuggles! He won't want to nap in your arms forever." I am not sure if or how I could have done anything different, but he's five months old now and still doesn't really know how to nap except in my arms. 

A few weeks ago I asked my Facebook moms how to get Henry to sleep better at night. Once again their responses could not magically fix my baby. People have always been sympathetic and supportive in their responses, but hearing about a months-younger baby that has been sleeping through the night for the last few weeks doesn't solve Henry's issues. I recently spent almost $200 on a personalized sleep plan, but I'm not sure that will solve our problems either. 

Last night Henry and I woke up seven times. Not all nights are that bad, but nights with constant wakings take a toll on our relationship. Usually around 4am on nights like last night the only thought I have running through my head is "I hate my baby, why won't he sleep, I'm doing the best I can." I don't hate him, not really. But at 4am when I haven't had more that a 1.5-hour stretch of sleep at a time, I kind of do. Then, at 7 or 7:30 when he wakes up and he looks up at me with a smile and gurgle (or laugh or squirm or happy scream), I can't remember the negativity from a few hours before. I love him again, and hope that tonight will be different. I hope that tonight will be one of those nights where he wakes up only three times and I can maybe complete one R.E.M. cycle before needing to go in and feed him again.

Master Suite

When we moved in to Southmore the second time, we had two finished bedrooms and one finished bathroom. The master suite was originally planned as a "phase 2" project, so we moved everything that did not have a place in our house yet to the future master and closed the door. Our home felt like a good size and we forgot about the project for almost a year. We still had a kitchen to build and a dining room to furnish, so the master bedroom did not seem like a priority, and we needed the storage space.

The blue vinyl flooring was covering up active drywood termites. One of the most horrifying things for me was to pull it up and see insects crawling around underneath. 

A fur out with the old AC vents going through. 

The door to our future master suite when we purchased the house. Lots of privacy!

About a year ago we decided that it would be best to finish the renovation as soon as we could. Rather than live for years with a room that we couldn't actually live in, we started cleaning out the future master and putting the contents in to our newly built cabinetry in the rest of the house. Then, when progress on the bedroom stalled again, we used my pregnancy as a fire under the contractors to give them a timeline to finish.

We robbed a bit of space from the future nursery so that we could have a second full bathroom in the house. Master suite, here we come!

A wall being built between our future master bedroom and future master closet.

Looking through the master closet and bathroom in to the future nursery.

Ceiling being vaulted and loft being built.

My fire did not light quite as forcefully under the contractors as I had hoped it would, but we have made tremendous progress on our room. Joe and Lizzie, our architects, drew us up a loft for the room which we can't quite access yet, but we had rails installed last week which made the inaccessible space safer.

Our clothes will hang here! The bench on the opposite side will serve as both James's and my dresser. 

First two dresser drawers and bathroom cabinet + drawers!

Our storage room! It took some serious dedication to go through the boxes and figure out where to put the things we would keep and where to donate the things we wouldn't.

Once we figure out what kind of ladder to build, we plan to put a TV and sofa up there. Henry won't be able to climb up for a few years, but he isn't supposed to watch TV for a while anyway. When he can, it will be a fun place for him to bring friends over and borrow our bedroom for sleepovers. For now, our room is a great place to learn how to sleep through the night.

One of the main goals for this room was to figure out how to add a closet and bathroom without making the space seem too small. I think it worked! We still need to put things on the walls one day, but I love our fresh blank canvas.

A peek at our future ladder wall to our future TV loft. 

We use the Arm's Reach co-sleeper to keep Henry next to us at night. It's important to stay stocked on all of the nighttime essentials! Water, burp cloth, swaddle, and diapers.

And on the other side of the bed, you can see Sebastian's bed peeking out. I've had that bedside table for almost a decade and hope to replace it one day, but it's doing a great job for now.

Subway tile: Daltile 4X8 "arctic white"
Hexagon tile floor and backsplash, 2"
Carrera Marble

Painting by Henry's great-grandmother, Janet Newman. Nothing like a little bathroom art!

Our longterm goal is to replace these two family-heirloom mirrors for one big mirror, but we may forget to do that as we get super used to this temporary solution. James and I may paint the wood the same white as our walls, or we may just leave it like this forever! Only time can tell.

Looking through the closet to the bathroom. 

Matching hangers help keep our small closet clean feeling.

Nesting

Baby boy Newman is due in one week, meaning that he could be born any day between now and two weeks from now. I'm rooting for him to come along on the earlier side of those weeks, but understand that nature has its own way of doing things and that first children tend to cook a bit longer than second and third. Regardless of baby's potential birth day, I am ready for him. Clothes are washed, furniture is bought, diapers are organized, and now I have nothing left to do to prepare for his arrival. 

Changing Table: Vintage Dresser
Rug: Bermuda Easy Shag

Chair: Sutton Upholstered Swivel Glider
Curtains: Ikea SANELA curtains
Art: Various Family
Shelf: Repurposed Wine Crate

Hamper: BirdRock Home Folding Butterfly Bamboo Hamper
Crib: Murray Crib by Viv + Rae
Mobile: Birds in Harmony Mobile
Art: Leslie Wang

Toy Box: 3 Sprouts Toy Chest
Diaper Pail: Ubbi

Ready to get our firstborn out of his warm snug space and into this beautiful room.

New Guest Bedroom

We created our guest bedroom around seven months ago and, as coincidence would have it, I am now seven months pregnant. Our little addition (to the family) incentivized progress on our renovation, and our transition from a two bedroom + one future master suite to a three bedroom house became our priority. We have spent the last three months hassling plumbers, electricians, tilers, and painters until eventually guilt tripping them into coming purely based on our baby timeline. We are planning on turning our previous guest bedroom into the nursery so a few weeks ago, while James was out of town, I solicited the help of my younger sister to shift furniture around the house. I will share pictures of the master suite in a few weeks once our shades are installed, but today I hope you can be placated with pictures of our former bedroom turned current guest bedroom.

An Addition

When renovations wind down, it is easy to see how much has been accomplished and fall into a sense of complacency. We have a full working bathroom, our kitchen is fully functional and 96% finished, we have two finished bedrooms, and finally have a table and chairs in the dining room. Sure, a couple of our kitchen drawers need a carpenter’s love, but these are the rooms that we spend time in and they look great. This nearly-finished house has soothed our renovation-weary hearts, and during our much deserved break from contractors we forgot that our home still needs some help.

Tiling the master shower is finally underway!

We have been living in one of our two finished bedrooms since we made our final move into Southmore last March, and have been using our master suite as a storage room for these last nine months. In the spring, when I would walk by the room, I envisioned it as a finished space and longed for it’s completion. Our kitchen cabinets were built in May and painted in July, and I wondered how much longer we would have to wait to move into the master bedroom. I don’t know when, but at some point during the summer I stopped wondering when we would change rooms and became content where I was. The contentment was a good thing because it relieved much of the stress associated with the snail’s pace of a renovation, but it also put a stop to the pestering of contractors and subcontractors to start the next phase.

For those who don’t yet know, we are expecting a son at the end of March 2017. Our approaching addition to the family has given us a sense of urgency again, and we have a new deadline to finish everything. Whether or not we are able to stick to this deadline is a question I cannot answer yet, but his one feels more real than any of the dozens of other deadlines we have made over the last two years. In the last few weeks we have made great progresses to our dormant renovation, progresses that will allow us to move in to our master bedroom with (hopefully) plenty of time to turn our guest bedroom across the hall into a nursery. Our master shower is now tiled, and we were finally able to coax the plumbers into our backyard to trench for and install a new sewer line. We borrowed a friend’s consumer reports account to choose and order toilets for our remaining bathrooms, and gave those toilet dimensions to the shower glass company so that they would know where to install our new door so as to not get in anything’s way. The glass company will arrive this morning, and hopefully finish within a week. 

Home renovations aren't always glitz and glamour. Here we have a new sewer line being installed - something I never thought I would get excited about.

We still have a list of a dozen or more tasks to finish, but it seems much more manageable than the hundreds of tasks we started with. We are moving again toward progress, and perhaps this time we will finally accomplish our goals.

Be Our Guest

James has spent his day helping lay sod at his mother's house, so I decided to spend my day finally arranging our guest bedroom to surprise him when he gets home. We've had a half dozen people stay with us over the last few months, but the room wasn't more than a bed and dresser in a blank canvas begging to be finished.

Our guest bedroom since we moved back in April

I looked through our artwork, furniture, and linens to find the combination of existing possessions that could come together to create a warm and inviting space for our next set of guests.

All of the artwork was done by family, the dresser was my childhood dresser, and the bed one that lived in my parent's house for decades. The guitar was given to James by his father, and the frame given to me by my grandparents (we will fill it with something eventually, but for now I like the look of it hanging there empty). I cleaned up and polished the wine crate shelf when we lived in Iraan, sewed the sock bunny for James for our first Christmas almost ten years ago, and received the personalized dream catcher from my sister three years ago. This room is full of love and memories, and we hope that our friends are able to feel the love while staying here.

A reminder of how this room looked when we first moved in last October

All But Finished Kitchen

We are so close to having a finished kitchen, and I'll be the first to admit that the progress that we have made since buying this house almost two years ago fills me with a sense of pride that I didn't know I could feel for an inanimate object. Our kitchen, like everywhere else in this house, has been more work than we could have anticipated when we started dreaming of how we could change and modernize the house. We gutted the kitchen first thing after getting the keys to the house, and spent days peeling up layers of linoleum tiles only to find that the wood floor underneath would need to be replaced. We replaced the floor with reclaimed hardwood, only to have a leak destroy all of our hard work and force us to re-replace with more reclaimed hardwood. Appliance troubles, scheduling troubles, troubles with just about everything one could think of, yet here we are with our fully functional and almost finished kitchen.

We will replace the black vent hood with a stainless steel one after we pass final inspections for the house, and we plan to have the electrician over to install our under-cabinet lights as soon as we get our final electrical orders in, but we have a functional kitchen. We've quickly filled up cabinets and drawers with the millions of boxes of kitchen supplies, gone grocery shopping for the first time in almost a year, and have cooked a hot meal every day for the last two weeks. Get ready world, once our dining table comes in we plan on having a hell of a housewarming party.

A reminder to all of us what the state of the kitchen was when we purchased the house.

A Counter and a Paint Job

So many things have been happening in our kitchen. We scheduled painters to prime and paint our cabinets, and just when we needed them the counter company called to say that our soapstone was ready. Counter was installed, and then promptly covered up for its own protection. The house was full, everybody got in each other's ways, and progress was made yet again. Maybe next week I'll be able to update with appliances and hardware, but I'll try not to get too optimistic about that.

Taking a Break

Anybody who has ever gone through a renovation will tell you how stressful the whole thing can be. Between the sticker shock at the quickly mounting costs, the disappointments at scheduling disasters, and the overwhelming nature that is choosing between three or four options for a hundred different things, we reached a low point in morale a few weeks back. Around this time in 2015 we were able to escape the stresses with a trip to Rocky Mountain National Park where our friend works as a park ranger. It almost looked like we would not be able to leave Houston this summer due to scheduling conflicts between my job and James', but a week miraculously arose where neither of us needed to be anywhere specific. A wedding invitation determined our destination, and we made the decision to spend the week before in a region of the United States I never thought to visit: The Midwest. We have spend the last few days at the sleepy Voyageurs National Park and the cooler weather and clean air has rejuvenated us. Our tasks will still be there when we get home, but this trip has added energy and excitement to the project once again.

Built-ins

Now that we're living at Southmore again we spend our days hoping that this project could progress more quickly, if only to be able to clean up the clutter that construction invariably encourages. Our dining room has become appliance storage, the refrigerator is sitting in our breakfast nook, and the future master bedroom stores all of the rest our our belongings until we have cabinets to unpack everything in to. We won't be able to unpack for a couple of months yet, but getting these cabinets built is a step toward a finished project. Next we'll paint, install counter, choose tile for backsplash, and hopefully get our fancy schmancy appliances put in so that we can finally use our kitchen.

Beginning to take shape as cabinets

We 

Decided to go minimal with trimming in this room. It's a modern kitchen in an old house.

Cabinet and drawer doors are each meticulously cut to fit together.

We've even started in the landing!

And check out these closet drawers. I'm excited to live a dresser-free life once we can move in to use the drawers in the master closet.

The closet turns in to the bathroom, with simple doors in here as well.

Floors

Remember when we had a massive leak halfway through refinishing our floors a while ago and then I didn't update you at all on the status of our house? We don't have a leak anymore, but I am still nervous that we haven't permanently fixed the problem. You've seen a sneak peek of the refinished floors in my last post, but the whole house is together and the floors look fantastic. We've added some furniture over the last month or so, meaning that what I am about to show you is a bit dated, but it's still too cool to forget to share.

Medium Bedroom. We're living here right now, and it's fantastic.

Smallest Bedroom. We have a friend moving in soon . . . I'll share the updates once I can get the photos off of the camera.

Stairs. We opened up this landing so that our upstairs hallway would feel more spacious.

Kitchen. We've built most of the cabinets since this was taken. Will try to share that soon.

Breakfast nook and front door. 

Living room stair view.

Living Room Progress

We moved back in last month, but things are still far from finished. We're actively building our kitchen, haven't solved our leak problem, and still don't have 1.5 of our bathrooms. Still, it's nice to be home again. We'll work on bringing our stuff out of storage for the first time in almost a year, and update y'all with our first furniture soon. In the meantime, here's some before and afters of our living room.

Dining Room Dreams

This project has cost about 65% more than we thought it would, so it will be a while before I replace all of our hand-me-down furniture for the tables and chairs that I dream to fill the spaces. I don't think that we could ever afford the things that I dream of, but fortunately I have a creative and handy husband who has offered his expertise in helping to build when possible. 

Dining Room Dream by hilary-hazel-newman featuring Safavieh

Massive Leak

The floors were supposed to be finished this Thursday. Pedro and Eddie were just starting to stain the floors upstairs when they heard water gushing into our kitchen. It would have been mildly disconcerting if there was a small leak during a rainstorm, but this was gallons of water pouring on to our newly sanded and as yet unfinished floors. Our water was turned off, plumber called, and many hours on Friday were spent trying to figure out where all of this water came from. We still aren't entirely sure what caused it, but we're floating some theories at the moment that might never be proven. Our newly installed salvaged kitchen floor was ripped out today and new old boards will be lain once the subfloor dries out, but it's looking like we will add a seventh dwelling to our list of homes by the end of this week.

This would be really cool if it were stain making the wood dark and not a bunch of water. 

We've had heaters and fans working to dry the floor up as much as possible. Unfortunately it wasn't enough to save the floor in the end, but we still have to dry the subfloor before installing the hardwood.

This was a huge bummer. I hate setbacks.

You can tell how much water was in this room at the zenith of our waterfall. I've been in a funk since seeing this, it feels like everything is moving backward again.

We cut holes in our newly painted beautifully installed drywall to try and find the leaky pipe, which ended up not existing. Perhaps the toilet? We still don't know.

Refinishing the Floors

Our floors are finally being refinished. Our contractor is hopeful that he will be finished halfway through next week and we will be able to move in by the fifth of March, so I am allowing some cautious optimism to creep in. We still won't have a kitchen, master bathroom, powder room, or any of our planned builtins, but we will be able to move back in to our home for hopefully the final time. Fingers crossed, guys, it might finally be happening.

The floor have had their first sand with wood filler applied, one more fine sand and the staining can begin.

Our permits will remain in the window for a while yet, still too many things left to do

Our bay window will also be stained and sealed

Prepping the medium bedroom before showing us our samples

Smallest bedroom with sanded floors and functional outlets

My favorite corner of the house so far. Green door, red brick, and navy powder room work well together to bring life to these white walls

Left to right: Clear, light, and medium stains. We're going with the middle one, it's a huge and irreversible decision but we are confident and content in our choice.

Practicing Patience

Painting the interior of our house took over a week and a half longer than was originally quoted, and the hardwood refinishers still haven't started on our house over two weeks after they said that they would be able to, but walking through our house this morning reminded me of the progress we have made in bringing this old bag of bones back to life over the last year. We'll be moving back in less than a month, and are eternally grateful to our friends and family who have helped keep us dry and warm as we've been through our ordeals. So far we have lived in six different places in the last year, do I see a seventh before we are able to move home?

I danced a jig when I saw our drum light installed last week. It's amazing how much closer to finished this room feels now that we have proper lighting.

Lights installed means empty boxes that need to be recycled. How cool does this exposed brick look now, though?

Our steps look amazing now that the risers have been painted fresh, and will look even better once they are all stained the same color.

Once floors are complete we will have a big project ahead of us still with the need for a master bathroom and kitchen. Deep breaths are what get us through living in this renovation.

Primer Coat

Holy smokes guys. I was so excited when I took my grandparents to see Southmore that I actually started jumping up and down. This is huge and exciting, and I am so incredibly stoked to see how it looks when it actually gets painted.

Our freshly stained front door looks fantastic now that the walls are no longer brown.

The painters spent most of the day caulking our seams and stripping paint off of the doorway. We've seen a lot of progress over the last week.

You can see here the difference between an un-caulked seam and a caulked one. A lot of people prefer the look of the defined boards, but we decided we wanted a bit more protection from dust and ants.

Our beautiful bay window getting ready for her new and fresh life.

Risers were stripped of their old lives and given the promise of a new one. Just a couple more weeks until the final coat and then we can refinish our floors.

Another Move

Remember way back on December 9 when I said that we jinxed our project? I don't know which of my voodoo rituals worked, but painters started prepping the week after Christmas while we were visiting my sister in Tacoma, WA. James and I are supposed to pick a paint color out by midweek, and are very excited about the progress that we have seen since getting back to Houston this past weekend. Hopefully I am not speaking too soon, but it feels like we are moving forward once again.

The only downside to this sudden development was how equally sudden we were kicked out of our home. When we moved to Houston we had a very hard time finding an apartment that would allow such a large animal, and this was one of the driving forces behind us looking for a house in the first place. I had heard so many stories of pets left behind in a move because the new apartment would not allow pets, and I never wanted Sebastian to be added to that statistic. Finding a short term rental to take us through two months proved no less challenging, with even apartments touting their lack of size restrictions placing all of the biggest breeds on a breed-restriction list. I then remembered that we have friends who love and support us, and who might like some help paying their mortgage in exchange for a roof over our heads. All but our mattress and Sebastian's crate is in storage right now and we will be living out of suitcases for the next two months, but once we move back to Southmore the floors will be refinished and the walls painted. I am getting good at moving, but am happy and anticipatory that our move back will be the last one for the foreseeable future.

Prepping the walls to be painted.

Post wood filler and pre sanding. A nice effect, no?

If Sebastian could follow us into the loft, he would. New hardwood installed and ready to be refinished. Secret door patched in, holes patched up, looking to be a cool space.